To Shower or Not to Shower?

Here is a question that I get a lot- when is it not appropriate to have a baby shower?

I had three children in four years, so by the time Bonus Baby was on the way, I needed very little other than diapers. I did not feel comfortable having a full baby shower for my third, so instead my friend set up a meal plan and “invited” others to sign up to bring dinners once the baby arrived- it was so helpful and special! But what about you?

Well, first of all, let me say that EVERY baby should be celebrated- whether it is your first who you waited decades for, or your 7th little surprise. However, there comes a point when assuming that your friends and family should give you gifts is not considerate. 

First Baby- Shower Up! You need everything! If you are having more than one baby shower, though, consider inviting separate lists of guests to each so that no one feels obligated to buy you more than one gift. 

Second Baby- Many moms are given a baby shower for the second baby, but often on a smaller scale than the first- a “sprinkle” if you will.

Third Baby or Thereafter- This is where it gets tricky… There are circumstances though that could lead to an actual “need” for a baby shower at this point:

– You have all boys and are finally having a girl (or the other way around)
- This is a first baby for you and this spouse
- It has been more than 5 years since your last child was born

Now, if you do not fall into any of those categories, (as in my case), here are my suggestions for celebrating this new little one:


  • Have a small luncheon with your friends and make it clear on the invitation that it is not a shower and gifts are not necessary. Perhaps instead, the invite could state:

Ann is expecting another girl and with so much pink could not ask for more! So come celebrate with 
joy at a Baby Brunch, and bring a sweet letter cause we love her a bunch!

  • Another option is to have a Baby 2 Baby or Operation Shower where you celebrate your new addition, but the gifts are given to moms in need.  This invite could say:

Ann is expecting Baby #3 and has all the gear she could ever need! So let’s bless this baby by paying it forward and bring gifts for moms who cannot afford them.

Come celebrate Ann and her baby and consider bringing a new or used baby item to be donated to Baby2Baby.

For more information on donating to moms in need, visit: and

It is always appropriate to celebrate a new life and when it comes to gifts, you may discover it is even more fun to get creative!


1st baby shower

One Response to To Shower or Not to Shower?

  1. I love these suggestions for how to honor mom and baby #3 (or more), and thanks for including the links.

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