Forgetting What Is Behind Part III

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.’” Isaiah 41:13. This verse brings me to tears. I have a tendency toward anxiety, and knowing that God is holding my hand and helping me is such a comfort.

From the moment your baby is conceived, you are a parent. As a friend told me when I was pregnant with my first child, “It is like a huge worry switch flips on!” It is totally normal to have concerns, fears, and doubts. However, God doesn’t want us to have them! For many mothers, though, the most worrisome part of pregnancy is the fear of losing the baby.

Miscarriage is a major concern for most expecting parents, especially in the first trimester, or for those who have previously lost a baby. Unfortunately, I know this fear and this pain well. When my daughter was 17 months old, I had finally weaned her off of breastfeeding and was excited to start feeling like myself again- except that I didn’t. A pregnancy test confirmed that Baby #2 was forming in my belly. I was shocked and fearful. My husband’s job had been cut to part-time and we couldn’t pay our bills as it was- how could we support two children? My daughter was already keeping me busy around the clock- how could I keep up with another? Didn’t I need a break from pregnancy and breast feeding? My precious husband was thrilled by the news and reminded me of God’s promises and that we were favored by Him to be blessed with another child. I confessed my doubts and fears and decided right then to embrace and love my baby. At 8 weeks, however, our baby was gone and I was left with a broken heart and a lot of questions for God. I still cry when I think of the loss and I still don’t understand why it had to happen. Just as His Word says, though, good was brought out of it in concrete ways, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God; who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28.

After the loss, I immediately wanted to get pregnant again, and I did. While I know it was God’s plan, (my oldest son is now 2),  my motives were to replace the lost child. I can tell you that cannot be done. There are no “quick fixes” when it comes to the loss of life, and I had to grieve the baby I lost in order to fully love the new one created. I found it healing to name the baby who had died to make sure that she had her own special identity.

I also had to learn to trust God again and not fear another miscarriage. One of my dear friends gave me a bracelet during my pregnancy that says, “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7.

Though the threat of miscarriage is real, worrying incessantly about it will steal your joy.

Almost half of all early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities that prevent the baby from growing. There is nothing that can be done to prevent the loss. It is inevitable. Late term miscarriages are usually due to structural abnormalities of the uterus, but only occur in about one percent of women. Infections, trauma, abnormal attachment of the placenta, uterine fibroids, cervical incompetence, and endocrine disturbances can cause late term loss, as well, but are extremely rare.

Ways to protect against miscarriage include avoiding drugs, tobacco, alcohol, high impact and contact activities, and undercooked or unpasteurized foods.

Above all, pray for protection for your little one and know that God loves that child even more than you do.

So during your pregnancy, “Cast your cares upon the Lord and He will sustain you,” Psalm 55:22. Be freed of your past burdens and prepare the glorious blessing of life, praising the Creator Himself and knowing that God’s plans are the best possible.

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